I don't know what to think now. I have a day where i'm fine and then the next few days, I pray hard for God to take me; let me die. And, I'm crying as if I'm over my parent's grave. Not just superficial sobs and a few tears, I am howling. The emotional pain is sometimes more than I think I can bear. There is no other option though. I have to press on through and hope I get back to a time when I feel good most of the time.
I had an episode with voices recently too. I haven't been bothered with this for 7 years, so we're trying a new med.
When I'm up and feeling okay, I am optimistic and love life. But I am so weary on days that are not good. I feel as if I'll never accomplish anything. If someone killed one of my family members, I would not wish them this. They classify my illness as severe and chronic; I say it's a condemnation of the soul for life. I'm not being melodramatic either.
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