the purpose of this blog

The purpose of this blog is not only to educate and inspire, but to give people who want to employ or use my services as a motivational/inspirational speaker the range of topics I can approach.

Writing and speaking are such a joy for me, it doesn't bother me that I do it mostly for free now. But I would like to make this a self-sustaining proposition for three reasons:

1. I could stop and start as needed.
2. I think the voice of an "average" person with a mental health resilience story is much needed in the marketplace. We only tend to hear about the extreme ends of the spectrum: violence and extreme achievement.
3. I need to be my own boss. I hate people looking over my shoulder and me trying to second guess to keep up with and try to stay ahead of "the game." This is a very treacherous environment for my illness. Unfortunately, I 'm describing most of the work places in America.

Publishing two memoirs that I have written is also on the agenda. One I wrote while I was still very ill, angst ridden and very much in psychosis. The other was written after we found the right meds (actually new on the market) and I was recovering my "sanity", i.e. no voices in my head but mine.

The topics I talk about are probably scary to those who have never experienced or had a loved one experience schizophrenic symptoms. It is something even people with other mental illnesses do not understand. This is one of the reasons why I have decided to disclose about my illness, to bridge the gap and bring these issues to light. Because for some of us, it is the daily grind.

One of my volunteer positions lets me speak to the community to educate and inspire. But, the first time I disclosed was for a documentary I took part in. When I viewed the finsihed product I thought, what have I done? People I don't even know will know my story. I got over it because I was more interested in helping people and fighting stigma than I was vain.

There is another reason why I disclose. My most guarded well kept secret used to be that I had a mental illness. I lived in fear for decades that someone would find out. It made me feel like a prisoner in my own life. Mental health issues are a part of living like physical medical issues are. An illness is an illness. Diabetes, Cancer, Schizophrenia, Parkinson's...what's the difference? They all are diseases that have to be treated by a physician.

Anyway, now that i disclose, a tremendous weight and stress have been lifted from me. This is my gift for disclosing.